This is the revised version of my essay. I made some minor grammatical changes throughout. I mostly changed the word choice that I used. I needed to be more concise and clear with the words I used to describe. I have always had an issue with this. I know what I want to say in my head, but putting it into words in a way others will understand is more difficult. Your suggestions helped spur more ways for me to have better word choice. I am getting better at finding the right words but it’s a process and is going to take a long time to perfect (if it’s something that can be perfected). In the final comment, you say that I should try to expand my structure right there on the page. I think it’s a wonderful idea. That said, I am uneasy about it. It is something so new to me and I really don’t even know where to begin. I kept my analytical structure for this essay because it worked with the content. I also kept it because I had no idea how to shift to a new structure. I know I have to make the jump at some point. I just want some guidance as to which way to go. That contradicts everything I have said in my essay. But I want to follow someone else’s footsteps and be shown the ropes of a new structure. Then, when I feel more prepared, I will follow my own feet.
No comments:
Post a Comment